Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Annotation of some Horse Manure

This is a forward I received via email, with a few of my own edits.


Subject: Breakfast at McDonalds

This is a good story, please read it all the way through. (After the
story there are some very interesting facts!) (a)

I am a mother of three (ages 14,12,3) and have recently completed my
college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. (b) The teacher
was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being
had been graced with. (c) Her last project of the term was called "Smile."

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their
reactions. (d) I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say
hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. (e)

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I
went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of
sharing special playtime with our son. (f) We were standing in line, waiting
to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away,
and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch ... an overwhelming feeling of panic (g) welled up
inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I
smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were
two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to
me, he was "smiling". (h) His beautiful sky blue eyes (i) were full of God's Light (j)
as he searched for acceptance.

He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had the second man
fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. (k) I realized the
second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his
salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the
counter asked him what they wanted. (l) He said, "Coffee is all Miss"
because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the
restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted
to be warm.) (m)

Then I really felt it -- the compulsion was so great (n) I almost reached out
and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed
all eyes in the place watched my every action. I smiled and asked the
young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a
separate tray. (o) I then walked around the corner to the table that the men
had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand
on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in
his eyes, and said, "Thank you."

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you.
God is here working through me to give you hope." (p) I started to cry as I
walked away to join my husband and son. (q) When I sat down my husband
smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give
me hope." (r) We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only
because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. (s)

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. (t) I returned to
college, on the last day with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" (u)
and the instructor read it. (v) Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I
share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew (w) that we, as human beings and
being part of God, share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son,
instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom to the last college
student. (x)

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. (y)
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may
read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS --
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE. (z)




If you think this story has touched you in any way, please send this on. (aa)

There is an Angel sent to watch over you. In order for her to work, (bb) you
must pass this on to the people you want watched over.

An Angel wrote: (cc) Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only
true friends will leave footprints in your heart. (dd) To handle yourself,
use your head. To handle others, use your heart. God gives every bird its
food, but He does not throw it into its nest. (ee)


--- Robert Heiter (ff)
--- rheiter@earthlink.net


(a) This is not a good story. This is garbage. And I defy you to find any facts at the end of this. Exactly what definition of fact are we using here? I mean, sure, I suppose you can argue that each person has tehir own idea of good, and this story might be aesthetically pleasing to somebody out there. But let’s not play fast and loose with the definition of “fact,” please. thank you.
(b) Which reminds me of my halcyon days when I got my college degree. It was very annoying always having to take classes called English. It got very confusing when I’d have multiple classes called English in one quarter.
(c) And this applies to the story how?
(d) What the hell kind of class is this? They’re obviously not doing anything scientific. Smile at three people and document the reactions?!? Is Kavin Spacey teaching the class and angling to sleep with Helent Hunt? What educational value would come from this?
(e) [sic]
(f) I hate to get all I-hate-fast-food-woo-woo-I’m-a-vegetarian, but am I wrong in thinking that taking your kid to friggin McDonald’s is a pretty piss-poor way to share special playtime?
(g) Maybe this is just me, but when I go into overwhelming panic, I run or start throwing punches or, at the very least, swear up a storm and try to hide behind something. The author shows remarkable poise in the face of overwhelming panic.
(h) “Smiling?” Is he not really smiling?
(i) Once again, while panicking, I tend not to notice the color of people’s beautiful eyes.
(j) Which makes me wonder if he should be wearing some sort of restrictive eyewear, maybe like Cyclops of the X-Men. I mean, if you go around shooting out God’s Light you could really hurt someone, or blind them at least.
(k) This only makes sense as two sentences. Maybe this is the overwhelming panic finally seeping in.
(l) Righhhhhht. There’s a long line at McDonald’s, everyone wants their food so that they can get on with special playtime, and a couple of homeless guys walk in. In horror, everyone abandons their place in line so that the homeless guys can walk up to the counter. And management is cool with this. Sure.
(m) Just in case you’re too stupid to figure this out. Note, by the way, that the narrator neglects to invite the two special people into her warm minivan or take them home to her warm house at the end of the tale.
(n) Look at all the Sociology she’s learning!
(o) (the line apparently not having re-formed after the homeless disruption)
(p) God seems to be half-assing it these days. Why not have someone give the guys a bag of money? Maybe have them be cast as the wacky homeless duo in a new Adam Sandler movie and make tons of money?
(q) And there goes your special playtime.
(r) This family tends to speak in awfully formal English.
(s) Huh?
(t) Going out on a limb here, the narrator may have been into God’s Sweet Love before this happened.
(u) (the quotes apparently indicating that she thinks her so-called project is as valid as I do)
(v) Where is this school?!? Your final paper is graded the second you hand it in? Shit, I was in the wrong program. Although one does wonder what everyone was doing while the teacher sat up there and read everyone’s paper.
(w) The narrator is also very prone to sudden infusions of knowledge.
(x) We’ve established that this is a strange, strange school that she’s going to, but I have to assume that there were at least one or two guys in the back who were too stoned to have been particularly touched.
(y) (As long as you don’t have to invite those horrid people into your home or anything)
(z) I am having a great deal of trouble learning to use things. At this point, all I can do is look at them.
(aa) Tell you what, I'll even post it on my blog..
(bb) These Angels work under some pretty strange rules. Suppose I want an angel to look over a friend without net access. Sure, I guess I could print this out and mail it to them, but would they be covered while the mail was in transit?
(cc) Do angels maintain copyright on things they write, or does it automatically go into the public domain? And where do angels do their writing? Do they do it at work when they’re supposed to be writing access reports like the rest of us?
(dd) WHAT ARE THESE TRUE FRIENDS DOING, WALKING ON YOUR HEART?!?
(ee) Once again, God is half-assing it.
(ff) But at the start, the narrator said she was a woman. Are there many women named Robert? Or is this family more interesting than we're originally led to believe?

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