Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Rich Kids

While waiting to see Sideways (which absolutely ruled), I saw a preview for some goddamned movie about some goddamned kid who miraculously comes to possess millions of dollars (it might be pounds, actually- they might have been British, I can't remember, I went and drank a bunch of wine after seeing Sideways... that's what that movie demands). That in itself is a pretty cool premise for a movie—what's not to like about a kid with unlimited resources? All hell would break loose. But, predictably, it looks like they flubbed it. The kid uses the money to help people.

My ass. Aside from being a lame approach to the story, it's just unrealistic. No kid worth his salt would use the money to help people. They'd go hog wild.

If I'd come into millions of dollars at the age of 10, I would have:

-paid for my parents' AMC Spirit to be modified to transform into a giant robot

-bought my neighbors' house, knocked it down, and used the lot to park several trucks full of Doritos and Coke

-worked tirelessly to figure out who I'd have to bribe to let an overweight 10-year-old take the field for the Nebraska Cornhuskers

-gotten a really big-ass TV screen to hook my Commodore 64 up to for optimum video-gaming pleasure

-bought like a thousand dogs